Living with breast cancer …

Posted: January 23, 2012 in Breast Cancer
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I was originally diagnosed 12 years ago, then again in 2007 when it metastacized.  Back before the mets, I had a website and on it was my story.  It was 15 pages long.  I won’t post that here for several reasons.  First of all, it’s lonnnnnnnng!  Secondly, that was 12 years ago. But it was my wakeup call.  This all began when I was only 39, or at least I only discovered it then.  I’m sure it began many years before that, so my process began very early on.  I was born and raised in the South … in the 60s, so nutrition?  Well, if you could fry it up and season it well, you could eat it.  And Sweet Sixteen powdered donuts (they weren’t even big enough to be called doughnuts … LOL) with hot chocolate for breakfast.  Cap’n Crunch and Cocoa Puffs (synthetically vitamin-enriched, of course, so it MUST be nutriti

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ous).  Lord have mercy, it’s no WONDER I got cancer!  If it wasn’t full of sugar, it was fried in Crisco, so I was set up for failure right out the gate.  I was to learn that was actually on many levels, but I’ll talk about that in my Spirituality posts.  So getting cancer was, indeed, a wakeup call for me.  A friend gave me a book about curing cancer with a macrobiotic diet (huh? what’s macrobiotic?) and though at the time, I didn’t think that was possible, it at least taught me there was such a thing as partially hydrogenated oils and that I was probably toxic with them from all the crap I had eaten all my life.  That was the very beginning of the journey.  I really hate that word, but really that’s what it is.  From partially hydrogenated oils … and beyond!

So I will probably not go into the gory details of my initial dx and treatment unless any of you want to hear about it and, if you do, holler and I’ll share.  But I don’t want to put you all to sleep in the process.  LOL  I did it all conventionally the first time because I really didn’t know any better.  The very first thing I learned was that the cancer mill will rush you,  hurry you, slap you on that treadmill and you won’t even have time to breathe, much less figure out what just hit you.  I would advise any new diagnosee …. as scary as this time is, do NOT give in to that rush.  Get your diagnosis and the recommendations for treatment.  That will involve some testing, perhaps biopsies/surgery and a few dr visits.  But get all the info … what you have and what the drs propose to do about it … and then take a few weeks off.  Go home, get on the internet, and start getting educated.  Read about the characteristics of your disease.  Read about the proposed treatments … all about them … the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Then go looking for alternatives because, trust me, there is more than one way to skin a cat.  And, thru this 12 years of exploration, I have been at both ends of the spectrum.  I have been thoroughly conventional.  Then I went whole-hog alternative/natural … no pharmaceuticals for me, nosirree.  Now I’m smack dab in the middle.  I prefer natural approaches.  But if I get on the ropes, I have to bring in the ass-kicker to haul that bastard off me so I can get back in control of the fight again.

And that is what I want to share with you.  This cancer thing is doable … but you really have to kind of develop a sense of when to get really aggressive, and when to be a little more subtle.  ‘Course all of you who know me are saying, “Yeah, if only she could figure that out in her personal relationships!”  Well, you would be right.  But honestly, if I had to choose the place of biggest importance for that skill, it would be with cancer and its treatment rather than relationships.  Cancer is aggressive.  It stops at nothing.  It will  kill you if you don’t get to the bottom of it and correct it from there.  It is not choosy.  And I am so thankful for my friends who accept me in all of my stress, frustration, meltdowns, and anger.  I am so blessed to have some folks who know my heart in my life … and realize that cancer piles frustration, in such excessive amounts …. and terror, and heartache, and desperation … and sometimes that all comes out in my voice.  But it’s not about my friends.  And I’m thankful for those who get that and don’t run away.  So blessed!

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