By summer of 2010, my numbers were on the move again in the wrong direction.  Back to the drawing board … what now? Meanwhile, a friend of mine from across the internet sent me an email asking if I’d heard of the Emerald Heart Foundation and sent me the link.  I was intrigued and called up the founder to see what they had going on.  The Foundation was in its infancy then, so they didn’t have much going on at the time, but we started chatting about what each of us thought had helped us the most as she was a Stage IV survivor herself.  Without hesitancy, I said, “My energy healer.”  She said, “Me too.”  So we shared info and hers happened to be an hour away, so I could get to her easily.  I got her contact info and gave her a call.

I started working with Karen Korona in July 2010 and we worked together through eight months and roughly $24k.  When I first contacted her, I had the image of Kurt and Louis in my head.  I was seeking physical help and she assured me she could teach me to heal myself.  I believed that then and I believe that now, so that sounded great to me.  I expected a session when we had our first phone appointment, but she told me that she works during the night-time, while the patient is sleeping.  One part of me thought, “Suuuuuure she does.  That’s a pretty easy way to make $165 for an hour of sleep time.”  But my new friend said Karen had saved her life and had told me her story about how she even moved across the country to have closer access.  That’s how highly she thought of Karen.  So I figured I’d try it.

I couldn’t feel her work during the night, but I didn’t expect to.  I would wake up the following morning in a good bit of pain and she said it was detox, which was a reasonable explanation.  But that was only after she had asked how I felt.  Kind of seemed to me that, since she was the only one who knew what she did to me, she would know if I was experiencing pain or not.  But that didn’t seem to be the case.  I went to visit her in August for our first “intensive.”  That is where I get a motel room and pretty much spend the day with her for several days.  She did do hands-on energy work and we would do this for the mornings.  We’d break for lunch, then come back and do some Kundalini yoga.  She would give me visualizations to work on, sending energy to my organs in the right colors and with the right sounds.  I learned about chakras and how to clear them and keep them that way.  I was getting into an area that I really hadn’t sought.  I was there for physical healing, but this was quickly turning into something spiritual, which wasn’t exactly what I wanted.  Even so, there was enough truth, and similarity of belief, that I would just sift the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.  I’d take what I needed and leave the rest.  Cuz, no offense to anyone Hindu, but that ain’t me.  I have a hard enough time with one deity, much less hundreds.  I carefully chose my approach to those things like making sure I knew the meaning of any chants and, if they didn’t line up with what I believed, I didn’t chant them.

When we worked together, she could certainly do some energy clearing.  I could go into her house feeling like I was about to explode and, after an hour of her work, I felt like all was right with the world.  That woman was like energetic valium.  But one can’t just move in with her to stay in her energy field.  I was beginning to think she could be just as addictive as valium.  Since then I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps I was just being brainwashed.  She was holding a couples and healing retreat, on Kauai, in October that year and John and I decided to go as well.  I have to say this was the highlight of my time working with Karen.  The two weeks we spent there were transformational in so many ways.

By the time we got to Hawaii, I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to travel.  My numbers were going up slowly and my body was going slowly down.  I was slowly dropping weight and getting weaker.  By October, I was pretty damn weak, but I managed to get there.  We would get up at 0530 for some morning meditations, then we would drink a cleansing beverage and reunite for a couple of hours of Karen’s Kundalini/pilates hybrid which was kickass!  Then we would have breakfast and have free time from about 11 to 3 each day, but that time almost always involved an assignment and limited communication like grunting … or silence.  Being in a group, in silence, or unable to use words, is a challenging exercise!  It sounds silly, but it really was an effective way to become aware of how much energy we waste, every single day, with just blabbering.  When your communication is constricted, you have to be very selective which words you put to voice because you have to choose the best ones to get your point across.  It emphasized how much of our communication was without thought.  Then we would have a group assignment in the afternoon, followed by meditation, followed by dinner, followed by us sitting on the floor listening to Karen teach.

The whole time there was enlightening and wonderful and strengthening, but again, I couldn’t be near her forever.  Well, I guess I could if I had had unlimited finances, but that was not the case.  As my disease progressed, and she kept telling me I was healing and I just needed to surrender, I told her that we had saved a certain amount of money for if I needed to go to a clinic.  We addressed this with her multiple times.  We were spending the money we had saved with her, but we were quickly coming to the end of it.  I asked her if, at any point, she saw that this was too much for us, she would tell me.  I could always go conventional and bring in more fire power.  She promised.  I believed her.  Despite what my ever-declining body was telling me.

The first quarter of 2011 brought about a cancer explosion in my body.  Everything blew up all at once.  Markers raced upward, belly pain was returning, fluid re-accumulating.  John and I were quickly running out of money as I was getting worse. We asked her if she would consider some pro bono, or half-price work at this point, but she wasn’t willing to do that despite the fact that I was getting sicker.  The fact was I was dying but no one said a word.

By April, I had been hiding out from my oncologist because I knew he’d slap me silly but I was trying to “get out of my head” and do things differently than I had ever done.  Now that it was apparent I was receiving no help from my healer, I asked the rest of the group for prayer and disconnected from Karen.  I finally had an appointment with Dr Headley on April 11.  I only returned home to pack clothes.  It was just that fast.  Hospital-bound and in more trouble than I’d ever been in in my life.

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