… I have risen from the flames, as my old fave Dan Fogelberg once sang.  And it was FAST!  I mean scarily, supernaturally fast.  When I left that hospital I was down to 99 pounds but the ascites fluid had never returned!  That was definitely a positive sign because as you know by now, ascites comes right back unless cancer is backing off.  I kept that NG tube until the day Kris Kraft worked on me.  That very afternoon, I had been almost 24 hours without the pump turned on, so it was time to lose it and give my poor throat some relief.  Every swallow, after three weeks of this, had become excruciating.  So the nurse pulled it that evening while Kris watched.

I was still on IV nutrition for a couple more months but I was able to eat little bits of soft things myself.  But I had a disappointing thing happen.  While I was hospitalized with that tube in my stomach, every little bit of food I smelled was torture.  Not because it made me nauseous … it made me hungry and I wasn’t allowed to eat.  I hadn’t been hungry in so very long and now that my bowels were resting, I wanted everything I smelled!!!!  I had such big plans for when that tube came out and I could enjoy eating again.  But it didn’t exactly transpire like that.  Once that tube came out, it was as though all that torture had never happened.  Now I was back to my old tricks of not wanting to eat, but I did eat whenever I could squeeze something in because I was on operation weight gain in a big way.  And gain I did!  I kept the IV nutrition going till July and I gained almost all my weight back.  I had gotten up to about 127 and figured that was enough.  And the risk of getting this port infected, with it always being accessed, was very real, so I didn’t want to stay accessed any longer than I needed to be.  But I was still concerned about this lack of appetite.  I had hoped that perhaps my body was just saturated and didn’t “want” anything more and that when I stopped the TPN my appetite would return.  Unfortunately, it did not.

That spring, I concentrated on returning to adequate levels of weight and some degree of strength.  I can’t even describe what happened.  I was on weekly chemo and monthly shots of Faslodex and infusions of Aredia for my bones.  My numbers were dropped quickly, fluid had not come back.  Of course that was my oncologist’s biggest concern with this rapid weight gain.  Fluid does that too … but every time I saw him, he declared me still fluid-free.

While I had been hospitalized, I had to stop using my oil.  God knows I was on enough heavy-duty, mess-with-your-head drugs anyway while I was there, so I just didn’t do it.  When I got home, however, it was time to get back to work, but I had to start all over.  My tolerance had been reduced to that of a little girl’s!  That’s a beautiful thing about cannabis.  If you just leave it alone for a week or so, you can jump start the meds’ effectiveness for you.  So I started with teeny doses again, but built up to full dose much faster this time.

A month out of the hospital

During chemo, one usually gets so run down and it’s cumulative.  Each treatment lowers your white and red counts just a little bit more and makes you feel just a little crappier.  Wow, was that ever not my experience this time!  I felt good.  No, I felt great!  I was energized and felt better than I had felt in years.  That was not the chemo.  That’s not what chemo does.  But that’s what was happening.  There were two possible explanations for this and, while I don’t know which one is accurate, I really don’t care.  It was either the cannabis oil and/or Kris’ energy work.

I never have one set of labs that made me have to push back a treatment.  Not once.  My white counts held steady the whole four months.  That translates to roughly 18 rounds of chemo with no anemia, despite bone mets.  No dropped white counts.  No postponement of treatment.  Loads of energy and stamina … no need for naps at all.  Those of you who have had chemo, did you feel like that?  I honestly believe that cannabis and energy work are two things every single cancer patient needs.

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