Melting my heart …

Posted: December 15, 2012 in Breast Cancer, Spiritual/Emotional/Energetic

Well, the Gunny boy has been rested for the past 3 weeks and I have been going out there, every other day or so, to just go into his area with the halter/rope and lots of cookies.  At first, he would stand at the opposite end of his run from me with his butt to me.  When I approached him, he would walk back to the other end to get away from me.  When he would let me put a hand on him, I would take the rope/halter and put it up over his neck and back and just rub him with the wad of rope so he got a good scratching from it (which they love).  Then he would get a cookie as I walked all around him, rubbing that rope all over him.  The other day, I went out there and he actually came up to me and didn’t run away when I put the rope on him.  I would give him a cookie then walk to a different spot and wait for him to come to me.  That happened a couple of times then he would stop coming to me, but would no longer move away from me when I approached him.

This past week, it was so different!  We have been seeing progress all along because us humans have suddenly become his only recreation since he can’t go out in the pasture with the other horses while he is healing.  This week, he was no longer coming up to me when I moved away from him.  Now he is following me and nudging me when we are standing still.  He is interacting with all of us now and that is just melting me into a puddle!

If any of you have ever had an animal with which you had to work for its affection, you’ll know how I feel.  When they come to you, all ready to be in your pocket, you kind of take that for granted and expect it.  But this horse was undoubtedly cowboyed in his young years and his feelings were never respected.  But he is soooo smart and polite and sensitive.  If you just stay calm with him and take it at his pace, he is so willing.  But he was pushed, I think, and pushed hard.  No more of that in his life for the rest of his life, whether I am here or not.  John will keep him when I’m gone and his heart is melting too.  From a horse who was skittish to even have you lift your hand to touch him, to a horse who is patting you down seeing if there’s anything enticing in your pocket for him.  Wow, who could ask for more?  Well more would’ve been if he had a clean bill of health now.

But the vet was out Monday for his second Shockwave treatment and she instructed me to start riding him after 3 days at the walk.  So I had him all saddled and ready yesterday.  He had been walking just fine and suddenly, when we got him ready yesterday, he started snapping that right hind foot straight out behind him again.  Something was still hurting.  So we called the vet and she returned this morning.  Turns out he probably has some rib injury and more bone splinters than we originally thought.  Nothing that shouldn’t heal with time, and the timing could not be better.  I am trying to get a protocol to start working for me and some days I just don’t feel worth a squat.  It is winter in Colorado and, even though the barn is heated, it is still cold as all hell.  So it’s not like I would be out on the trails even if he was 100% right now.  But if that hadn’t happened, that would’ve made it a perfect situation.  I guess I should consider myself fortunate.  I have had horses in and out of my life since I was in junior high school and have never owned a “money pit” until now.  But if you have horses in your life for long, you will have one sooner or later and I have finally hit mine.  I so like his brain, though … and I really think that he is going to be spectacular if I can just keep my strength up, and live long enough, to get at least another year on him.  I’m thinking he should be camping his ass off next summer!

  1. Kylie says:

    I love reading your posts. I especially love that you have something in your life that gives you pleasure and takes your mind away from all the health issues, even just for a short time. I think of you a lot as you are very inspiring. I’m so impressed with the way you handle mentally a diagnosis that most people would curl up in a ball and just shut down (I’m guessing you probably did that for a moment, which I think is very reasonable!). Your spirit is so amazing! Keep up the fight and I’m looking forward to the pictures of you astride your steed, heading off on one of these trails you speak of in the warmer weather.

    P.S. I live in Tasmania in Australia, which is a temperate climate so can be very cool with occasional snow in the highlands, however, we don’t have the winter that you speak of. I’m curious as to how you heat your stables, i.e. electricity? gas? Heating here is so expensive and rocketing upwards…we’ve recently installed solar panels to combat our house electricity bills….I’ve never really thought about people in snow covered areas and how they care for their livestock before!

    • Oh Kylie, I curl up in a ball and shut down … or scream … quite a bit. More often that I care to think about. Right about now, I am not able to envision myself healthy and back in the game of life. And that scares the dogcrap outta me. I mean, if the law of attraction is real, then by my thinking I may not survive 2013, am I creating that as a reality for myself? Am I killing myself just because I can’t see light at the end of the tunnel right now? Hell, I dunno … and having no good treatment choices scares me too. So I spend much more time in fear than I do feeling like a victor.

      Our barn is only heated in certain areas. The trainer’s residence, the lounge, and the indoor arena. Now, heated doesn’t mean 70 degrees because horses are much more comfortable between 30 and 50 degrees because their blood volume is so great. But we can turn on the heat and get the arena warmer than freezing anyway, and when you are moving around, especially if you are on the horse, it helps keep you warm enough. So I still have to bundle all up cuz it is still cold … just not so bitter. And it is best to have water tanks that have heaters in them because that water will freeze on the top and the horses can’t get to it. Other than that, they get to weather the winter. God created them with nice, wooly coats if they’re not shaved off.

  2. Clint Matthews says:

    I expect he will be camping ‘your’ ass off next summer and the summer after and after and after….

    Cuz (Clint)

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