Remembering Melissa

Posted: February 17, 2013 in Breast Cancer, Cannabis Medicine, Spiritual/Emotional/Energetic

As you all know, Melissa courageously battled cancer for 14 years. On this site, she shared her thoughts, hopes and fears through her journey. After being diagnosed with a brain tumor and large brain bleed on Tuesday, January 29th, Melissa began to lose her sight and ability to articulate through speech. On Saturday, the 9th, John put in a request to put her on hospice. The nurses told us she would not live more than 5 days. Never being one to fit into the life expectations of doctors or diagnoses, Melissa proved them wrong by hanging in for 5 days and 15 minutes. Surrounded by friends and family and tended to by her adoring husband, Melissa passed away at 12:15 a.m. on Saturday, February 16th. Though we are all grieving the loss of such a magnificent woman, we are all relieved to know her suffering in this world has ended.

She is survived by her wonderful husband, John, and her daughter, Erika. We’re certain her four papillons (Tazzie, Bubbles, Sprite and Shasta) can still sense her. We’re incredibly grateful for the love and support provided by the family that’s able to be here with John (Melissa’s brother, Brooks, and his wife, Leslie, as well as John’s sister, Kathy), as well as the prayers and thoughts from those who are unable to be physically present. To all of you, thank you so much for your love and encouragement – it means more to us than we can say.

The Pikes Peak Hospice & Palliative Care staff who helped Melissa find her way into her new life was nothing short of amazing. The nurses helped each of us understand what to expect and how we could best help her. Their support and kindness will not be forgotten. They are a non-profit organization who always helps people in need, whether payment can be provided or not. As a result, they are typically at a $100,000 loss per year and rely heavily on the kindness and generosity of others. Per John’s request, in lieu of flowers, if you feel moved to contribute a gift to the family, please make a donation in Melissa’s name to this organization. You can donate under the name Melissa Lee Patton Buhmeyer by clicking here.

Immediate family will have an intimate remembrance dinner in Melissa’s honor on the evening of Monday, February 18th. We would love it if you would each take a moment to share, in the comments section below, your memories of Melissa – how you will remember her, what she may have taught you, or how her stories have impacted you. Because so much of her life was consumed by disease, those of us left behind would love to see her through your eyes, to hear the stories we might not know, and see how she lives on through your memories.

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Comments
  1. Martine Aerts-Niddam says:

    Melissa, I will miss you so much. Even though I never met you in person, we shared so much of our battles………I know you are in a better place where you can finally be at peace and breathe freely. YOu are an extraordinary woman and I am honored to have known
    you. Farewell my friend. Much love, Martine

  2. Marilyn Holasek Lloyd says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I knew Melissa as a former member of the Amazon group list. Melissa was a true cancer warrior who left no stone unturned in both allopathic, integrative, holistic and alternative medicine. John, she could not have done it without you. You were her rock and her partner in such an awful disease that was so unrelenting. My sympathies to all of her family, her daughter and her siblings. I would like to find and post the Warrior Woman poem. It fits Melissa’s wonderful spirit. Marilyn Holasek Lloyd

  3. Marilyn Holasek Lloyd says:

    Melissa didn’t just fight for herself, but for others. Her writing helped countless women.
    Rest in Peace Melissa

    Warrior Women
    Author unknown

    You join an army of wounded women, who wear pretty clothes that conceal the
    scars and the pain and summon brave smiles to camouflage anxiety. Each share a
    touching, intimate memory of a day that changed our lives forever.

    A memory of a morning shower when we touched our breasts and cried. A long
    last look in the mirror, as we said good-bye. Good-bye to vanity. Good-bye to self pity. We haven’t’ the time. We measure life in moments, and momentum

    We are the meaning of lifelong friends. Bosom buddies gathering strength from
    one another. We are courageous. We are proud. A circle of women we span the globe,and we have touched eternity. There is a word that strikes fear in our hearts–the word is recurrence. We try endlessly to search the reason. We valiantly fight to find the cure. We do so for daughters, granddaughters and for friends and ourselves. We do so for the women who have gone before us.

    With each loss we feel tremendous anger. We rage. We taste fear. But each loss
    our capacity to love deepens. It grows, it ripens, it blooms. Each precious moment on this earth is a gift. We will not leave this gift unopened. We will not leave one smile undone. We will not leave one hug forgotten. We will not miss one opportunity to make a difference.

    We are women warriors. our causalities are high. The women who have gone
    before us have lost a battle with breast cancer, but they haven’t lost the war. We honor these women, we feel them, we remember them. We carry them with us, and we made each one a promise. A promise to never again look the other way. We have breast cancer. We are alive.

  4. Nan says:

    To all Melissa’s family:
    I have been thinking of Melissa since her brother posted last, and today I am saddened to hear that
    she has lost the battle that she has endured for so long. She is certainly an inspiration to me because I am always so fearful of what tomorrow will bring in this battle of bc, but she has given me strength by showing me that we have way more strength than we know and Melissa certainly had that strength and she showed many of us to never give up. Melissa certainly never gave up.
    “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He look upon you with kindness and grant you His peace” Rest in Peace, Melissa
    Nan

  5. I’m so sorry. RIP Melissa.

  6. Whitton, Danneal B [SLS] says:

    Whoever wrote this….thank you. I will respond tomorrow when I can get over the shock ! I let the sorority sisters know already. I am so sorry and am grieving. She put up a valiant fight….that is for sure. Love, Danneal

  7. Gary Ryan says:

    I am so sad to here of Melissas passing, I only came to know her over the last year or so, through her blog and another forum she was on. What a remarkable lady she was, she just found strength where I would surely have given up. She took the time to send me many healing and inspirational sermons,when it was quite apparent that she was very ill. She is with the Lord now, I will never forget her.

  8. Diana says:

    Meissa my bestie, my sista from a different mista! I don’t share her journalistic talent , so bear with me , but Lord knows we shared just about everything else! Even though I knew this day would come it still doesn’t seem real to me. We met in church when I joined the worship team years ago! I was instantly drawn to this bright red headed extrovert who had a southern drawl thicker than mine and was rockin this edgey spiked doo! Me , being as introverted as I am , well it was a match meant to be! One thing about her is that she wasn’t one to mince words. She said what she meant and meant what she said! I appreciated that uh…. most the time! When I didn’t is when we’d have to have our ” Come to Jesus meetins!” We had a few of them too! Our thing was shopping. No mall or boutique was safe from the likes of us! When it comes to shoes… Lets just say Almelda didn’t have anything on that girl!! When she didn’t have the energy to do the footwork we’d lay in bed and online shop. I could go in her closet and tell you where she bought most everything and vividly remember what happened on that day she bought it. That always amazed her. She had many strengths. Most that the online world know of were made from sheer necessity. She learned quickly how to be proactive with her own healthcare. Never have I met anyone as well informed as she was!
    I have yet to realize the HUGE void that is mine to bear without her. What she meant to me mere words can’t express right now. Kinda funny but normally she’d be proof reading this before I posted. So until we meet again in glory sweet friend fly free great warrior!!!

  9. Liz Bean says:

    I met Melissa 16 years ago on a site called SHN.COM, All of us newly diagnosed BC survivors would gather their and chat. The site later became webmd.com. I was diagnosed with BC in July 1996. I am sorry for your loss. Melissa was such a warrior. So strong. I am sure her dogs sense her spirit. I read of her passing and as I sit here in my living room in northwestern Wisconsin, a tear ran down my face. Melissa touched many lives. I pray she is in a peaceful place with God. I know she is watching over her family and all the animals she loved dearly. I PRAY for peace an contentment for all who loved her.

    Liz Bean
    SIREN, WI

  10. Brigitte the Swiss Miss says:

    You might Not now, I met Melissa at SHN back in 1998…. Lizzard she was…. Always positive, always fighting, always Researching something….

    We wrote each other and originally I wanted to come to CO Springs in December, but it was snowing so heavyly and Melissa and I decided to wait for Summer .. End of December she wrote me ….please make it the nexte time you are in the South West and if its just for a overmight stay…. And then she wrote out of the blue…. If I am still arround .

    I told her Melissa you better be…

    And then evetything worsend…,
    its so sad, she wanted to live!!!! Sometimes I think the Eternal plan is Not perfect…

    See I know she is better now, but its so hard.

    Hugs from Melissas Swiss Miss Brigitte

    • Liz Bean says:

      Hi Brigitte, I remember you from SHN too. How is your BC going? I felt so sad after reading the post about Melissa last evening. I was glad to see that someone else from the old “SHN” had also posted. Email me if you get a chance. lzbean@sirentel.net

  11. Emily Haggerty (aka "RACHAEL") says:

    Anyone who knew Melissa knows she would not “go gentle into that good-night!” Despite the inevitable outcome, we knew she would battle the forces as long as was possible…and then a bit more!

    WebMD Friend To Friend was the place we first “met”…I scanned some of my emails from Melissa and have collected a few words quite representative of and from her :

    “Well, in my belief system, what you believe in your heart is even

    more important than the facts … what you believe in your heart

    can make things happen. ” Sept. 2007

    “Oh girl, do you have any idea how you just made my day? …I

    thought today’s post was pretty boring but wow … you liked it!”
    March, 2012

    “You know Rachael, I have been striving for a healing

    transformation, but maybe I’m more working toward getting out

    of this cramped cocoon and getting free … ” March, 2012

    “Hey thank you for the lovely tiny butterfly. I have a lovely piece of
    celestite Beside my recliner and he sits on the Celestite. ”
    May, 2012

    “I have been enjoying life and not stuck on my computer ..”.
    Oct. 2012

    Our “LizzardLee” was more than a “virtual individual” even to those of us who never met her face to face …Through her words and her spirit, she was able to make each of us feel like she was seated across from us, sharing a great cup of coffee with a dear Friend!

    Although our relationship had its basis in a medical condition, we crossed far beyond that in discussions. Actually, I do think it would have been like trying to contain the wind had we attempted to be limited by medical parameters!

    On WebMD Friend To Friend, however, our relationship grew with each post. When needed, she requested that we all board the Pink Bus and escort her to appointments and surgeries. And she, in turn, would do the same for us. She loved Pinkie, the Candle Site, the “Warrior Stone”…Any symbol or possibility we could harness to aid each of us in our battles.

    We admired Melissa for her knowledge and persistence, and for her tenacity and bullheadedness as well! She returned the favor by supporting the community of F2F, sharing information, and, perhaps her greatest gift, sharing herself. She always managed to make me feel so special, so important to her!

    God, I hope she knew that!!

    Blessings and peace to all.
    “Rachael” (aka Emily Haggerty)

  12. Jaime says:

    Beautiful, determinded, strong, generous…those are some of the words that come to mind when I think about Melissa. I met her when I was 13 years old, and she quickly became a big part of my life through her incredible daughter Erika, my best friend growing up. All through my middle school and high school years, I practically lived at her house during the weekends so Melissa was there through a lot of the drama high school girls deal with! 🙂 I definitely got to know her through the eyes of a daughter. Melissa was the first person to dye my hair, which is fitting considering how colorful and crazy her hair always was! Erika and I only let her give us highlights because, “We never want to lose our natural color…” you can bet with Melissa’s influence that mind set didn’t last long! I also remember Melissa talking to us about friendship and loyalty. She encouraged us to hold onto our friendship because high school relationships don’t last long and what Erika and I had was something special. My heart is saddened by the loss of this incredible woman, but I will be forever thankful that she brought one of the most amazing friendships into my life through Erika. I’m sure she is so happy now…fearlessly signing her heart out with that beautiful voice and smiling that infectious smile of hers! That is how I will always remember her!!

  13. Penny Guinther says:

    Thank you for the update on Melissa. She was on my mind from the time I read her brother’s update and new she was in the hospital. I’m so sorry for your loss and so glad that she is free and on the other side of all the struggle. She fought a valiant battle. She was a client and a friend and I miss her already. I send my love and sympathy to you, Erika and all of Melissa’s family and friends.

  14. slythy says:

    To Melissa’s family and friends..

    I hope Melissa knows the legacy she left many of us. She contacted me several years ago through our website and gave me information and studies on the medical use of cannabis. I knew nothing but I read the studies and was blown away. I had no idea there was so much research out there. She encouraged me to attend the Cannabis Medical Therapeutics Conference and learn more so I could bring the information back to our online breast cancer group.

    I attended and was able to bring back life-changing information which has since helped hundreds, if not thousands of people. I learned about all the medical studies and just what strain of cannabis was most helpful. What’s more she taught me to stand up for cannabis as a therapeutic medicine and so I put the weight of our organization and online group behind that battle cry.

    Many people who were shy about their views on medical cannibis stepped forward unapologetically to claim the right to use this amazing herb!

    I spoke to Melissa several times on the phone over the years and she was always caring, helpful and encouraging. As I got to know Mel better, I realized she had so many talents that she never spoke about. She was so modest.

    Towards the end of her life i began to have dreams about wild horses and always thought of Mel. I hope I thanked her enough for her how much she contributed to my life and helped others…

    I miss you, Mel. I’m waving to you as you pass over.

    With love,
    Lynne

  15. Francine Atkins says:

    I cried when I read that Melissa was gone. I never met her but I found her blog after my brother died of lung cancer in 2010. I felt so hopeless but reading about her story on her blog was so powerful. She had such a fighting spirit and she was so willing to share everything: supplements; therapy; energy healers; thoughts and emotions; things that she was trying or had tried whether they worked or did not work. When my best friend got cancer in last year, I was able to offer her hope by telling her about Melissa’s blog.

    I learned so many things from Melissa’s blog. Not just about cancer but about living life fully and embracing all the challenges that come at you. I learned how to talk to people who had cancer. I learned how to just be with my friend and not let cancer take over our relationship. Even when my friend died, Melissa’s blog offered never ending hope. I learned how to listen to my own body from Melissa. Being involved in animal rescue, I loved reading about Melissa’s dogs and horses.

    I wish I could have met her but it didn’t matter. Her spirit was so big and beautiful that I didn’t need to actually meet her. My thoughts and prayers are with her friends and family. I know how deeply I am going to miss her, so I can only imagine how deeply her friends and family are missing her.

    I like to think that her spirit is still around and I’m just glad that I got to “meet” Melissa. Even if it was only via her blog.

  16. Denise Barnes says:

    This is still settling in to me. Melissa was my big sister. She and I went way back, about 20yrs ago. I enjoyed so much about this feisty sista. She had soul, class, was sentimental, comical, fun loving, and we just clicked! We met at church in California under the same pastor that married John and her.

    I remember going to the ranch/barn to ‘watch’ her and Erika ride and feed the horses. She tried to coax me to join them but I was just to chicken. I told her them some big dogs…which means to me…umm do they bite. LOL. I learned allot about horses from her.

    She was family to me. My family also considered her the same. I have been tempted to pick up the phone to text her and have to remember she is now on a higher level and different dimension. The Lord has new plans for her and I have to accept that. This is also a very good thing. She is no longer suffering and with the heavenly Father.

    Melissa – I love you dearly and you are precious to me. Tell your mom I said hello…that I also enjoyed the time we spent together also.

  17. Tina Wagner says:

    I first met Melissa about 13 years ago. And yes her fiery red spiked hair caught my eye. I actually sat beside her and John the first time I visited her church. Once we got to know each other (which didn’t take long because Im not exactly shy either), we shared a lot of intimate talks. I was eventually her associate Pastor and we had “God” talks, but that isn’t really what i think of when I hear mention of her. I remember our “girl” talks where she shared what had happened to her body, how it made it her feel, her fears of how it would affect the love of her life…..yes John. Yes, I saw the physical scars on that tiny body. Funny how I never saw her as being ill unless she needed to talk about it. I saw Melissa as living life to its fullest. She could make you laugh, make you think and please don’t get on her bad side!!! LOL!
    The “Jaime” who wrote above belongs to me. She and Erika were best friends in their teens. Therefore, Melissa and I had that fun time as their mother’s to share. Our “girls” seemed to always be in trouble in the Youth Ministry. They are both tenacious, fun loving opinionated young women. Wonder where they got that from? So imagine the meetings with leaders and our talks together as their moms. Melissa and I knew our girls were the bomb and both had the “go get em’ be yourself attitude. Probably wasn’t what some adults wanted to see, but hey, our girls rocked. Melissa truly did see the value in their friendship and we both encouraged it. While she was coloring their hair I was making their Halloween costumes. And yes, one year they were asked to leave the Youth party. I believe Erika came dressed as “Jessica Rabbit” and my Jaime as “Betty Boop”. We both got a laugh out of that one while trying to explain to the girls why they might want to tone it down a bit.
    As far as our beliefs in raising our girls, Melissa and I were a match made in heaven…..maybe a strong willed match but it worked for us! And now our girls have proven that they too are strong beautiful women. Melissa you did great!!!!
    From that beautiful voice worshiping your creator, to your “Im living life my way”, to your cherishing your precious soul mate John, to your loving your daughter more than she will ever know, to your contagious smile and sparkle in those blue as the ocean eyes……you are fierce Melissa dear. Now rest in arms of your precious Savior. We celebrate you!!!
    Tina

  18. therese nowak mccarthy says:

    Prayers to Melissa’s family. Melissa was my AGD sister at HPC. We reconnected on FB 3-4 years ago. It is so funny that after 30 years plus, I still remember her voice. Melissa put up a fight that many would not be able to handle. What an admirable fight. God bless her and she is now pain free. Thanks for sharing this beautiful post.

  19. Judy Buhmeyer says:

    One of the best things that Melissa did was to introduce the band Sugar Ray to me. John and she came to Gator Growl in 2003 and Sugar Ray was part of the entertainment and she said that they were a group whose music she enjoyed. So since then, whenever I hear a song of theirs I always think of Melissa and the fun we all enjoyed that night. We will certainly miss Melissa but whenever I see a redhaired lady, I know that Mel is here!! Much love to John, Erika and the rest of the family.

  20. Margaret Patterson says:

    I am so sad and angry that Melissa was killed by this hateful disease that we both have suffered so much from. And finding a “cure” takes over what little time you have left… although I was gladdened to see that she was still loving her animals till the end.

    If you know anyone newly diagnosed with breast cancer, PLEASE get to them ASAP and tell them NOT to do chemo and radiation. I know so many women whose bodies were so weakened by the “treatment” that they could never fully recover. We all need to fight the pharmaceutical companies and medical establishments that are lying to us about the cure. And don’t get talked into a mammogram. The “pink” push for more diagnostic is just leading to more and more breast cancer, and the brainwashing due to fear is unconscionable. Study the statistics, and don’t destroy your immune system for a a 2 or 3% chance of improvement.

    Get the surgery, and then aggressively pursue alternative therapy, even if you have to leave America to do it. Your life may depend on it.

    Sending love and sympathy to her family…
    Meg in Oregon

  21. Clint Matthews says:

    My thoughts are with the family which though distant includes me. I was so glad to have seen her one last time in Atlanta. So much of my own past was in her face and eyes. One couldn’t help but love her. My Grandpa and hers the REV. Roy C. Matthews Sr. always spoke so highly of her and carried her military picture always. John, you are the perfect man and my thoughts are with you especially.

    Clint Matthews (Cuz)

  22. Erika says:

    As Melissa’s only daughter, I experienced a relationship with her that nobody else could ever know. I have so many wonderful memories of her – being playful, loving, spontaneous. She always encouraged me to think for myself, be independent and live my life. She was so great at making me feel special. On my birthday, I always knew how happy she was that she’d had me. Her eyes would shine with joy as she told me – without fail, on each of my 25 birthdays – the story of my birth. Holiday traditions were something I have always loved because she loved them. On holidays – or sometimes for no reason at all – she’d always go out of her way to share something with me (a gift, a card, a hug) that showed me I was on her mind 365 days of the year. As I got older, of course, things weren’t always so simple. Teens will be teens, and mothers of teens will be mothers of teens. Though her motherly “realism” was often met with agitation from her young daughter, I know she would’ve always supported my decisions, even if she didn’t agree with them (though, of course, she would certainly let me know if she didn’t agree with them!).

    Everyone talks about how strong she was, how courageous. Yes, she was all those things, down to her core. But I think it’s important for all of us to realize she was often absolutely terrified. Fear had a prominent place in her life as far back as I can remember. To me, this makes her even more inspirational, because she was the person who taught me that you don’t have to be fearless to be brave. You don’t have to be Spartan, a warrior, to fight your battles and fight them well. My mother was vivacious and sparky, but she was also human. She had good days and bad days. But she taught me that being strong and being a fighter doesn’t mean being something you’re not. As a mentor of mine has said, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” We can all internalize this beautiful lesson – we can all be like her in some way, because even in those darkest moments, when hope seems dead, and the pain refuses to subside, and there seems to be no salvation left for you…even then, you can feel the fear and do it anyway. You can still conquer. You can still overcome. You can still take one tiny step – just one! – and celebrate your success. You can still have a bad day today and kick ass tomorrow. No matter how many bad days I’ve had, I’ve always drawn inspiration from how my mother handled her many challenges.

    She and I loved each other in very different ways. Our relationship was not simple and there were times we fought like cats and dogs. My mother taught me how to fight, that’s for sure. But I always knew she loved me, and I always knew I loved her. After a period of incredible damage to our relationship, we were able to reconcile and form an even better bond than we’d ever had before. Through our work together, I learned so much about love, sacrifice, forgiveness (of others AND of self), of restoration, of healing. The last two years of our relationship were the most precious to me, and I’m incredibly grateful we were able to share them. My deepest grief stems from wishing we’d had more time. Wishing that cancer hadn’t made her so sick for so much of my life – but especially our last two years. Many times in the past week, I’ve been brought to tears thinking two years just isn’t enough time for a daughter to be with her mother. It seemed like we were just starting to really, truly get to know one another, to see each other for who we really were as individuals – a gift many people don’t experience in their own lifelong relationships. But we deserved more time like that. My dad deserved more time with her, too. We all deserved more time with her.

    And so, at last, I encourage you to honor her as I intend to: with hearts full of love. To look at your relationships, look at your problems. Don’t wait to fix them – fix them now. If you can find a way to be closer to those you love, do it. And if you can’t, love them in whatever way you can, whether they know it or not. Always hug and say “I love you” before leaving your loved ones, because as my mother was dying, though I’d always made a point to tell her how much I loved her, I couldn’t say it enough in those moments. Be healthy. Be wise and active about self-care. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do when you know better. You can say anything you want to whomever you want as long as you say it respectfully. Make time for yourself. Don’t be afraid to shine a little. Fight your battles today so tomorrow you can bask in the sun – whether you’ve won or lost. Don’t let life get you down for too long. Be real – with yourself, with others. Be open, be vulnerable. When you’re afraid, feel it – but don’t let it stop you. Always be accepting of others, even if you don’t understand or agree with their choices. When you catch yourself thinking of a loved one, find a way to share that with them. And most of all, my mother wouldn’t want any of us to mourn too long. As soon as you can, live your life again – and live it even bigger and brighter than you did before. If you can do that, you’ve carried on her legacy.

  23. therese nowak mccarthy says:

    Erika – what you wrote is absolutely from the heart beautiful I know your mom is beaming with pride. I can tell you I had my mom for more than 50 years, but even that does not seem long enough. Keep your good memories close to your heart, and know you will never stop missing your mom, but it will get easier to make it through the day.

  24. Ericka, I too thought your beautiful post was straight from your heart. I can tell just how much you loved her, and I know how deeply she loved you. She was taken way too soon from all of us who loved her. You will always carry her in your heart wherever you go.

    • Paul says:

      Erika

      That was a beautiful tribute to your Mom.
      I work as the resident pharmacist on the board and I found her to be a trip.
      Ill never forget her. I understand what you said as fear being a
      part of her life. She was a typical enneagram 6. If you are interested
      look up enneagram 6. Youll smile as it will fit her to a tee.
      I really really really liked your Mom and am sorry to know she is gone
      but glad she is in a divine place and free of pain and suffering and of fear.
      My sincere condolences to your Dad.

      Paul

  25. Darlene Mecca Cotton says:

    Friend is hardly the word for my relationship with Melissa. We met years ago when she and John bought the house next door. She told me of her condition and was stage 4….I could hardly believe it. Who was this woman with “life” beaming from those blue eyes?? And so I embarked on the most precious relationship that would teach me so much.

    Melissa was the first woman I had met that was so together. She had such confidence, strength, fight and knowledge. Nothing like me. Her love of life taught me the importance of living. I have suffered from severe depression all my life. Well, she dove right into my heart. In no time, I was off of the horrible medications and on naturals which changed a lot for me. I finally wanted to live! thanks to her…..

    We went everywhere. Nothing stopped Melissa! She involved me in their lives on everything from shopping, eating out, and even camping! Anyone who knew Melissa, knew how much she loved the outdoors! John and Melissa always invited us to their cozy home for the holidays. Their kindness was more than just friendship, it was love.

    Her door was always open and so was her heart. She was so eager to help and share. Didn’t matter what it was, she was there and had it pegged in no time. She always had the answers. She didn’t want to go away, just fought to the end. I’ve learned from Melissa to love life, no matter what you’re handed. May God Bless her and John and give them peace.

  26. Dianne says:

    First, I would like to offer my deepest sympathy to all of Melissa’s family and especially her loving Husband. I know very well the pain involved in loosing someone so precious to you. I lost my husband and love of my life on Sept. 25th of this year. I will never be the same, but God has been good to me, surrounding me with friends and family!
    I first met Melissa on one of the cancer sites that my daughter set up for me. At first I was mainly just reading and then I began sending and recieving messages. Melissa was always so helpful and always responded to my messages. I knew that she used hemp oil and I was trying to get some for my husband. She was trying to help me even in the midst of what she was going through herself. I could tell from her messages to me that she was a full of life type person and a fighter. She also had compassion for others, which is such a blessing. She even invited me to Colo. to spend some time after my husband passed. Although I couldn’t come, I was so touched by her offer and her sweet spirit.
    I had no idea that she had cancer for 14 long years. Hopefully some of those years were still good!I I’m guessing we first talked maybe 3 years ago. My husband had a brain tumor and battled it for 3and1/2 years. We used alternative treatments until the last month or so.
    I have saved e-mails that I recieved from Melissa, if you would like , I could try to forward them to you. I’m not real savy with the computer but I can get help. Most of them are probably in one of the cancer sites that my daughter set up for me and I’m no longer using.
    Although we never met face to face, I feel a connection to Melissa and her family. I will be praying for all of you and especially John..That was my husband’s name also. This grief thing is really hard, but with God’s help we’ll make it. I know from the short time I knew Melissa, that she would want her loved ones to be ok and continue with life. My husband asked me all the time if I was ok. It is extremely painful, but I know I can be ok again, as he would want me to. Sending love and prayers to all,Dianne (jrdegnan@juno.com)

  27. Erika, well said. well written. I am not a regular here, nor did I have an in depth relationship with your mother, but as an observer and reader, I tried to gain insight from her treatments. You see my wife is now fighting the same disease with good luck thus far… and I was trying to learn from your mom what treatments we may have to add to our arsenal as things progress.. and reading your mom’s treatments, many are hand in hand with what we are currently doing.. She gave our ideas validity. and she inspired the hell out of me.. and that doesn’t happen very often.

    I can only hope that her next journey rocks.. and she finds the happiness and laughter on the trip, wherever and whenever that may be… But she is a bright spirit, so I know that wherever it is, it will light up…

    and I hope that you guys all find love, peace, and inspiration from her, and carry that on with you.

    Erick and Lynda Carpenter

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