So, in my last post, I said I was doing o.k. But, I’ll have to admit, that the “snapshot” of reality changes far too frequently to say anything for certain anymore. Melissa used the word “journey” in her writing to describe what she had been through and was going through, as many people do, and it is very appropriate language. For me now, looking back and looking forward, I too, am trying to find my way. At first, I thought writing about these more recent Melissa events would be easy, perhaps even healing, but was I wrong–again what seemed black and white is certainly a greater shade of grey. I thought that things would be more downhill now, but again was I wrong. I’d say my path, so far, has had many dimensions, light and dark spots, and many hills, valleys, even at times, deep crevices to climb out of.
I thank you all for your many suggestions concerning what perspective I should write some of these more recent stories from; all very insightful, but may have complicated my decision-making more than I expected. So, I sat spinning my cognitive and emotional wheels for days, digging myself deeper and deeper into a pit trying to decide which path should I take, when it occurred to me: go to the source. So, even though, I was present for all of Melissa’s past stories, I decided to read them all again. Sure, I’d read them all before and maybe provided my 2 cents to some of them along the way, but all the images just came back so strong–it was at times vividly torment-filled and dark, but at the same time refreshing, nourishing and light-filled. So, excuse my psycho babble, but I think that was just the nudge I needed….so with that, please raise the curtain.