Melissa posted in “Into the Desert” on April 9, 2012: “So then, it was only a skip away to wonder if I’m really saved and going to heaven?”
After calling Hospice Sunday morning pretty early in the day to get Melissa admitted, a Hospice nurse finally hooked Melissa up to IV pain medication about 8 p.m. that night. Since Melissa had not slept much in two weeks, due to lots of pain, she fell asleep pretty quickly. The nurse thought the IV dosage rate was fine and she left less than an hour later. As was typical, unusual things tended to happen in the early hours of the day. Early that morning, around, 1 a.m., Melissa awoke and needed to go to the bathroom. Of course, she wanted to go under her own control and at her own pace. But keep in mind, her IV medication was being administered through her port by a mechanical pump. So, thankfully, I had put the pump and the IV med bag into a soft briefcase in anticipation of such an event. Also, keep in mind that our bedroom was pretty dark (I had a light in the hallway on and one in our walk-in closet) since direct light hurt Melissa’s eyes–she was pretty much blind at this point in time. So, as Melissa pulled herself out of bed, I grabbed the soft sided briefcase and tried to make sure Melissa did not fall as she made her way to the bathroom. I could just picture her frail frame tripping and hitting her head. So, as we made our way to the bathroom, Melissa suddenly stopped and wanted to go to the closet. I tried to convince her that the bathroom was in the other direction and tried to guide her correctly and finally did although Melissa wasn’t at all happy. Awhile later, Melissa had to get up and go again, so I quickly played her shadow. This time, as we neared the bathroom, she locked her arms on the doorframe and insisted that we go the other way to the closet. Again, I tried to urge her to the bathroom, but this time she was both physically and vocally insistent. This time I had to pick her up to guide her to the bathroom, but she kicked and physically insisted that I was incorrect. Again, awhile later, Melissa needed to get up, but this time she wanted to go down the hall. Again, I had to guide her in what I thought was the right direction. As we neared the bathroom this time, a light bulb, so to speak, came on for me: Melissa was so upset with me because she was physically trying to go to the light. And she got pretty upset when I prevented her progress.
I soon, turned off the hall light and the light in the closet and left the light on in the bathroom. And, guess what, we never had that problem again. There are quite a few more examples and I’ll try to paint a better picture in the future, but it is amazing to me, how when our Earthly senses start to diminish, heavenly or let’s just say spiritual senses start to increase. So, did Melissa know where she was going at this point? I tend to think that she already had one foot in the door to heavenly spaces.